What to say

What to say
When you are drifting away.
It is time to let go and try to find
The peace that all talk about
The joy that seems to touch all but me.
Surrounded by ellil, ever going tharn.
React?
No that just breeds further burrowing.
Relax?
No that just breeds deciet and unknowing.
Observe?
Perhaps, but from a distant heart.
Confide?
No longer, it will only bring resentment.
Hide
That is the answer, although the most inviting
And most difficult.
Your heart wants to be one place
But it was not meant to be there
To venture will be hard, but
Ultimately good for others and
No worse for yourself.
Fade away like the leaching light of summer
The remembrance of being warm
Wafting smells and lingering tastes
These are forever savored
And thus most treasured of sensations.
Here you will find what you seek.
A pity you will never know it.

Never changing

I thought distance, I thought time
I thought attitude, I thought family
Perhaps security, perhaps letting go.
I could be free and relieved.
Return with new sense
Things change, I change.
But alas is not to be
What will save me
How will I release.
Perhaps things are not as bad as I believe them to be.
I doubt it.
Return to mist, return to uncertainty.
Can I distract, can I accept.
Some day, that is what I am told
Some day
Where is this illusive some day.
Perhaps the distance was not great enough
Perhaps the time was not long enough
Perhaps the security was not sure enough
Perhaps it was simply lying below the surface
An ugly boil waiting to show.
However I am to survive I must do it better.
I will accept your new terms, I will try.
I will try to keep to myself and perhaps busy myself elsewhere
Why can't I depend on you in the end.