Never changing

I thought distance, I thought time
I thought attitude, I thought family
Perhaps security, perhaps letting go.
I could be free and relieved.
Return with new sense
Things change, I change.
But alas is not to be
What will save me
How will I release.
Perhaps things are not as bad as I believe them to be.
I doubt it.
Return to mist, return to uncertainty.
Can I distract, can I accept.
Some day, that is what I am told
Some day
Where is this illusive some day.
Perhaps the distance was not great enough
Perhaps the time was not long enough
Perhaps the security was not sure enough
Perhaps it was simply lying below the surface
An ugly boil waiting to show.
However I am to survive I must do it better.
I will accept your new terms, I will try.
I will try to keep to myself and perhaps busy myself elsewhere
Why can't I depend on you in the end.